Terrible Idea: Eating Too Much

I eat too much on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach.  It also doesn't help that my I have a very unhealthy food pyramid.

I love to eat.  So I make sure to hit all the main food groups.

People always warn me to be careful because you are what you eat.  If I literally was what I ate, I would turn into this burger pizza french fry man...BURPIZFRY!

Pity.  Indeed.

Now, sadly, I have begun to eat healthier for fear of turning into BURPIZFRY!  

It sucks.

Sadness.  Loneliness.  Hunger.

Moral:  Eat food.  Not crap.

  

  

Terrible Idea: Spraying Pepper Spray in Face

When I was small, I was crazy.  Literally.  People thought I was on cocaine.

 I would always violently run around my house.  I loved the garage.  So much.


So...I would go inside the garage.  Often.

I would look for things as if I were a pirate, or a squirrel.  Then, one fateful day, I found a can of HAIRSPRAY!!!

So I decided...why not spray it DIRECTLY INTO MY FACE?

Clearly this was not hairspray.  I ran inside to find my dad.  Crying.  Emotion.  Pain.


 
And to this day...no one was surprised I did this.

Note to self: pepper spray kills.